Complex Mind

Hello, Guys..
Indeed the fact, that I will be a college student, really make me feel scared..
I have some strange thoughts in my mind,
sometimes I feel like, " How about if I fail after graduate ?? "
           " How about if I make my parents disappointed ?? "
       " How if my IPK doesn't reach the maximum score that I can do ?? "

Have guys feel like, when you need something so bad and you already trust in it fully, but immediately, you doubt it ? Like you feel that what you choosed before is wrong...
I feel it now.
I believed that 3d Animation is my great choice over another choice. I want it so bad since 4 years ago.
I put lot of efforts to make it succes until know,
but, now, I am feeling scared. it feels like, how about if what I choosed before is wrong...
What can I do after this ??

all of this thoughts came because,
I start to process my apllication requirements in MEDIA DESIGN SCHOOL, which is in New Zealand..

Woahhh !! Liivng outside my country, Oh My God ! Even I never think about that before. Live alone in strange country, where you know nobody....
that is what currently make me scared.

I admit that my drawing skill is under average score. hahaha... I am bad at drawing, but I like colouring so much. I like to draw, yes I am, but until now, I am bad at it...
3d animation NEED drawing skill !!

I think, it is right, that I will be crazy in New Zealand.
Move to NZ, means, I will leave everyone and everything that I have in Indonesia,
Spent a lot of money in there,
and put a lot of effort to make it success !!
Oh my !! Study in NZ is my dream since I was child... I want it so much. But, I scared..


That is my strange thought. ahahaha..
I love cartoon I love animation....

Until know, I don't tell my friends about my moving..
Please hope that everything will be fine for me... :)

I'll try to make everyone not upset !! :)
Yeah,
because it's me, Calosa Nema.
I want to tell my parents that, I am Calosa Nema, I am your daughter who you can put your big hope in me.
Trust me, and everything gonna be okay..

And for me,
I can't do anything without God's help. I need Him so much...

So, I will give my further informations about it guys... :)
Stay tuned !